1000 Shades of Gray. (Unfinished)

1000 shades of gray.

In the middle arises a lone color.

Small, yes, but slowly becoming strong, confident. Proud.

The color rises and grows, grasping each and every shade.

Carefully not allowing it to fade away.

Soon, the color can show it’s true self; it’s true form of identity.

Thereafter, it can take over the 1000 shades of gray.

It can move the shades; allowing them to fall freely from the grasps of it’s roots.

The color takes flight, while the gray falls into the hole of empty dreams.

It flies across the dimly lit cup; allowing it’s being to slightly spill over the edge.

What is real is the site of the colors dripping down the edges of the cup.

I'm not sure what propelled me to even write this. I'm also not sure how to finish it. I must've been in a certain state of mind because I found it on my hard drive on my desktop computer while cleaning it. Let me know what you think of it.

Writing for myself.

"Keep my dreams alive, and I'll keep you breathing.
Let's get lost together and babe we'll keep on dreaming."

Sometimes, I write to soothe myself. To let thoughts out of my head that would otherwise eat my brain. I write to... Runaway. To run from everything. Like a drug. To get away from reality for a while. To get the secrets out and to release the weight of everything holding me down. Fantasy is better than reality, in more ways than one narrow path.

See, I write to save myself. To save my whispers to a minimum, and my screeching to a dead roll of sound waves. My spoken words fall on deaf ears and mute mouths. People are too wrapped up in their own lives to take the time to listen, and that's okay. I don't write for you, I don't write for the girl behind you, I don't write for the old guy on the corner, nor do I write for the young girl playing hopscotch. I write for me. I write to leave me wanting more. I write to make words count, to leave myself without doubts.

I write to create meanings for the rhymes said in hidden poems, and for the easy listening music that I clutch for something to bear on my ears. I write to give myself the ability to run; away from you, and away from myself sometimes.

Yes, I write, and you read. You see what my thoughts are, what I aspire to do in life, and what my past has painted. I write to make you think, and make you wonder my points. Remember, I write for me, not you.

In the end, it's you. You giving me motivation and courage to write for myself.
Because when I write for myself, you listen. You read, and think; wonder and write for yourself. I write for me giving hope to let you write for you.

Read my thoughts. Listen to my words.
Write for yourself.
Revert it back to me.

Only then, can you say you've written for yourself.

Burn Notice.

"I love you, Forever and Always."

I close the note, and silently place it on top of the flames, causing them to grow for a rapid second.

There comes a time in life, when you burn the bridges for good.
For me, it was more of a burning of an entire country, not just the bridge that connects the countries.
".. And I'm burning all the letters hoping that I might forget her and her bad taste, that she left when she was leaving me, A life of barely breathing as she walked, out of this place." -Mayday Parade


Couldn't have said it better myself.
I burned all of the letters. All of the notes. All of the pictures, and memorabilia.
All of the 'I love you's' burned to an ash.
'Forever and Always' had its own half of the pit, burning until it couldn't burn anymore.

SO much thought went into this. So much time spent sitting there in dead silence, wondering if I was going to make a mistake. Everything played in my head, over and over, like a broken record, playing on repeat. All of the memories shared were going over in my head, leaving me with a feeling of sickness in my stomach. There were so many happy times flooded by the times where I just wanted to give up.

It ate away at me, for quite some time. Time that I surely won't get back. I don't regret any of the memories. Without them, and my experiences, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Simple isn't something I aim for. Therefore, I had to let it eat away at me until I couldn't take it anymore. It got the best of me some days.

Sometimes, I'd sit and think of how I never really understood how things got to be the way they ended up. Things were always blamed on me, therefore I blamed myself. But after a while, I took a step back, and analyzed what was really going on. Needless to say, I don't blame myself for anything anymore.

I can now feel myself rise again.
No, it wasn't easy, but nobody said it would be.
As we grow older, everything will generally get harder. I like it that way. Struggling has taught me how to grow onto another level of strength.
I'm not as strong as I could be, but it's a learning process.


With all of that being said, I can smile.
Big smiles.
I'm not going to wonder if I made the mistake of burning my memories away. To me, I made the best choice I could make.
One that will stick.

One that will last.

&&One that I know I can say will last 'forever and always'.
Because when I say it, I mean it.

Giving Thanks

Hello everyone.
I'm writing this blog to show my appreciation, in a way.

Tonight was the Honors Convocation at Flint Southwestern Academy. Everything went very well. Everyone there deserved to be there. We all put in the hard work, and really focused on getting the job done.

The atmosphere was amazing. I could feel it. I could feel everyone's spirits raised and the excitement that was built for the night. Although it will be nothing compared to graduation (June 2nd), it still felt as if it would be a night to remember for the rest of my life. I really enjoyed seeing all of the students, on the verge of becoming young adults and independent. Everyone had smiles on their faces and it seemed as if everyone was happy.

I personally, was very happy; probably the happiest I've been in a while. It felt great. I can go through life knowing that I went to high school (and some even middle school and earlier) with some of the most intelligent, most focused people.

I received my distinguished honors silver cords, as well as a document that went with it that showed my achievement academically. I also received the English Merit Award, which basically dubs me the English student of the year for the 2008/2009 school year, and I received my Geographic Regional scholarship from Oakland University.

The speeches were very well written and performed, the students were recognized well, and the staff should get pats on the back for a job well done.

The supporters were very kind, clapping to every name called, and every award given.

Things just couldn't have gotten any better.

I would like to thank everyone, literally.
Everyone played a role in the awards given out, including myself.
Over these past 6 years at Flint SWA, I've met some of the best people that I could've possibly met. I received guidance from some of the most skilled and gifted teachers. Last but not least, I received one of the best educations around.

Thank you staff, students, friends, parents, and other supporters.

Most of all, I'd like to finally thank and congratulate myself.
I'm the kind of person who'll give the utmost credit to others, and never really appreciate myself in certain situations. Now, while these last few days as a Senior at SWA dwindle down,I'd like to finally give myself a pat on the back.

I can remember when I was a Freshman, and I had no desire to be at school so I slacked off. But I got my mindset straightened out and I focused on my dreams and aspirations. Ever since then I haven't quit on anything. I've worked my butt off, so to speak, and never let down. My determination may have fluctuated at times, but I always made sure that I was focused on my goals.

Now, it's finally time for the younger kids to get some words of wisdom:
If you dare to believe in yourself, you will find the things in you that will materialize and set you off on your correct path.
Never give up.

Thank you for reading.
It's appreciated greatly.

-Robbie Williford
Class of 2009, Flint Southwestern Academy

Beautiful Sunrises.

I smile.
I smile because, you are no longer the reason for my slumps.
I can live life, and smile knowing that you can smile without me.
I can breathe deeply, without having to stop to let you breathe.
I can believe in myself again, without you telling me I'm wrong.
I can take my steps, without you here to become a stronger person.
I can stumble, and not expect you to be there to pick me up, just like before.
I can fall, and not worry about you being there to catch me.
I can laugh without worrying about making you laugh in unison with me.

I can smile knowing that the smile will be there, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, til death does it part from me.

I can smile for new reasons, for best friends, and for feelings not involving you.

Most of all, I can smile, because I'm not binded by you any longer. I'm not held down from my true potential anymore. I'm not contained by your being.

I'm me.
Robert Francis Williford.

ME.

:)

Memories of Yesterday's Promises.

Things change. It's inevitable. It's going to happen no matter what. Although I am aware of this process, I still believe that change can somehow be manipulated to be curved a certain way. I'm certain that promises were made to be broken, and dreams were meant to be broken down somehow.

"Is it broken? Can we work it out?"
Promises are made to teach lessons. No matter what the case is, or who is involved in it, a promise is your word. Your committal to something, and devotion to making sure that the promise Isn't broken. Working out the mistake of breaking a promise is a hard thing to do, but it CAN be done. Trust me. Trust problems and all, I can accept the fact that promises can be broken. I don't attach myself to the promise as much as I used to, but that's is only to ensure that I don't get hurt. That doesn't mean I don't believe in it. I do. I believe in things, and have faith in things, but one thing that is for sure, I'm not trying to get hurt in the process. Sure, I'll be disappointed or upset is a promise isn't fulfilled, and I'll even probably think a lot about it. But one thing that I'll keep in my mind is that everyone makes mistakes. Some way more than others. Mistakes are learning blocks to success. Without them, we all would be oblivious to what was really going on in this world. It teaches people, young and old, how to appreciate and adapt to things, as well as create a valuable lesson of life.

Most of all, it teaches you how to grow and better yourself as a human being, and as a person;inside and out.

Growing.

Growing up is probably one of life's hardest things to do. It's the longest learning process that you'll have to go through, and is most likely the biggest one as well. From the day we are born, we have to learn how to live, to survive in the world, as a human being. Although, as an infant, there are not as many responsibilities that are present, due to the fact that you don't have many abilities yet. You haven't grown into your abilities yet. But as you get older, life changes and you have to adjust as well as adapt with it. It's all a learning process, and can be a hard one at that. There are so many things to have to learn, to grow into. As a young person, you can pick up habits or characteristics that define you as a person, when you get older. For instance, if you grow up around a certain group of people, good or bad, you will pick up the language used, the way they go about doing things, or the way they think, and you'll be one of them as well. It's just the way the human race works. If we are around something for too long, we will start to mirror it. We act like it, breathe like it, eat like it, see like it, and hear like it, as if it were what we've done our whole lives.

To make my point clear, Once we adapt and adjust to everything and get good at it, we tend to change again. We start the entire process over. We learn to adjust to having to repeat the process over and over again. Along the way, we pick up habits that stick with us throughout our lives. Habits that make you, you, and me, me.

All I'm asking, is that we choose wisely the habits that we want to pick up. Choose the ones that you know deep down will make you a better person, in the long run. If the short term works with it, then it's a bonus.